Uses for a sausage.

[Chazlene]

This is just an idea Spawn of Ebil and I came up with over MSN, just think of as many different uses for a sausage as you can, ranging from chipolatas to frankfurters, and don't be crude!

Examples:

Low-maintenance pet.
Emergency cigar.
Doorstop.

[ez64]

Lover.

[Bloo]

Small projectile (Throwing it at stuff)
Water Detector (Need two)
Alternative Swear word (e.g. OH SAUSAGE!).
Messiah.

[spawnofebil]

Improvised weapon for a bank robbery.

Use several to make an emergency ladder to escape prison.

[Darkeagle]

A tasty snack

[Isphera]

Female Stress Reliever
Group six into a circle, put it on a bent stick and you have a paint roller.

[Chazlene]

The props for a low-budget remake of Snakes on a plane.
Earplugs.
Backup police truncheon.

[Hutch]

Once in france I thought there were 3 brown sausages, sitting on the doorstep, looked closer to see what they were, turned out the had antennae and were weird slugs, ewww.

A finger.
A decoy for the hungry dogs chasing you.

[spawnofebil]

The props for a low-budget remake of Snakes on a plane.

I lol'd.

Miniature snowboard for small people.
Hollow out and use as pen grip.

[Paper Tiger]

Replacement rifle ammo

[Hutch]

Use to disguise yourself as a German,
Part of a "construct a German sausage Dog" toy for a child. (choking parts)
Christmas tree decoration. (O tannenbaum)
Chipolata can be used as a pipe cleaner (Great British thing)
Hollow it out to disguise dynamite, hide it in a German pub and blow it up

IS there a theme?

[Chazlene]

YOU ARE NOT GERMAN, SO STOP TRYING TO BE.

A completely useless battery.
Champagne cork.
Chipolatas can be disguised as Cadbury fingers to give children a healthier diet.

[Bloo]

Stick them altogether to make a sausage vest and say you have a bomb.
Or just cook the sausages then make a vest and have a warm (and greasy) jacket to wear.

[Squizzel]

if you got loads you could build a sculpture out of them

you could carve one into the shape of a.....spoon, yes....obviously >.>

[Paper Tiger]

Wanting to blow up Germans, yet you love Rammstein... :S

[Isphera]

Put nicely Gary :)

[Hutch]

germany fuy yeah frreedom for all the jwe haters out htere!¬

[Hutch]

fuck tou!

[spawnofebil]

Gary-that's not a legitimate use for a sausage.

Neither are yours hutch, although fucking is possibly a use.

Mine:

Use to take incriminating pictures of Hutch in bed with a sausage and stick huge posters up all over the school walls.

[Paper Tiger]

Fine....
Making a nice, big bang by sticking a load up the exhaust of a car :)

[Mark FX]

Make a meatilicious raft and sail the seas! Yar! :D

[Mark FX]

- Useful for Hansel and Gretel if their parents are/were carnivores.
- Can use sausages to spell out a distress message if deserted on an island.
- A string of chipolatas can become a meaty lasso for cowboys.
- A bribe to stop Barney the Dinosaur from raping you.

[Paper Tiger]

ROFL at the last one!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBb7xllXRXg&feature=related

DIE YOU PURPLE MOFO! (Link thanks to Mark)

"It's snowing Barney..."

(can't get rid of the annoying link...)

[Paper Tiger]

Another use: Earplugs for the nagging parents/wife/girlfriend/teacher/banned twat on TF2...The list goes on.

Ammo against third world countries...Drop a crate full of 'em, and you can do what you want :D

[spawnofebil]

Pretend microphone for practising Elvis impersonator.

[Paper Tiger]

Stop leaking pipes

[Paper Tiger]

Getting someones attention by throwing it at them in a food tech class

[Hutch]

Currency for a 3rd world country, just to spite them.
Something to spit roast with (pun, what pun?)
Something to poison to kill off/make people ill (CMOT style)

[Paper Tiger]

cock sock/willy warmer

[spawnofebil]

Use as fingers if your own are amputated.

Write revision notes on them and bring them into an exam.

Use as guitar plectrum.

[Hutch]

Soemthing to get the freaking dogs away from you in Cod 4, it might work better than simply trying to get them away from your throat which never works.

[Bloo]

Soemthing to get the freaking dogs away from you in Cod 4, it might work better than simply trying to get them away from your throat which never works.

I'm steadily perfecting the art of snapping those dogs necks, basically, press V BEFORE you're floored. :p

Or shoot the fuckers with a shotgun.

[Chazlene]

Weapons for insult sword fighting.
Take a photo of one and use it as a screamer image.
Cut a frankfurter into thin slices and use as poker chips.

[Vicious Horizon]

Use with ketchup in a low budget film for dismembered fingers or toes or...

[Squizzel]

juggle with them
tie several very burnt chipolatas together and use them as a garotte
replacement nose......it doesn't matter, you can't smell the thing anyway

is it me or is hutch beginning to get obsessed with COD4?

[Paper Tiger]

lol @ bloo and the shotgun!

Anyone else find it funny that Portal is rated higher than CoD4 in PCGamer?
Portal: 90%
CoD4: 85%

[Hutch]

Yeah, but I have portal as well.

Back to topic, as a microphone for that bastard man who is always singing at Beauty pagents in America.

[spawnofebil]

Interactive MMO for the community.

[Vicious Horizon]

A surragate mother for Britney spear's kids?

[Hutch]

A device for torturing Wow players 11-1337 dmg +1 stamina +13 Holy Resistence.

[Squizzel]

use an extremely long, thin chipolata as a whip

[Bloo]

use an extremely long, thin chipolata as a whip

Or a chain of sausages linked together?

[Squizzel]

that wouldn't be as fun