ATK XMAS Draw - FREE copy of L4D!!

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Want to WIN a FREE copy of Left 4 Dead? Feel like your missing out on the latest game from Valve?


To enter, all you have to do is post your favourite Christmas joke below!

• To give everyone an equal chance, the winner will be chosen randomly and it will not depend on the quality of the joke.
  
  
• If you already have Left 4 Dead, you may still post your favourite joke, but make sure you let us know that you already have the game.
  
  
• This prize draw is open to all members with 10 posts or more, and the draw will be made on the 30th December by me on a video posted here.

A special thanks goes to those of you that have donated or subscribed over the last year. To allow us to continue these competitions as often as possible, all contributions are greatly appreciated and they will be spent on improving many other areas of the Community as well!

Subscriptions | Donations

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Q. Why does Santa Claus like to work in the garden?
A. Because he like to hoe, hoe, hoe!


Good luck to all that enters, BUT I WANA WIN!

Im greedy i want two copys :D (joking)

Q: Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman?
A:You have to hollow out it's head first








No seriously i want it

What Do You Do At Christmas?

A teacher, Mrs. Jones, asked each of her students how they
celebrated Christmas. She called first on young Patrick Murphy.
"Tell me, Patrick, what do you do at Christmas time?"

Patrick addressed the class "Me and my twelve brothers and sister
go to midnight Mass and we sing hymns. Then we come home very
late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our
stockings. Then we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come
with all our toys."

"Very nice, Patrick," she said. "Now, Jimmy Brown, what do you do
at Christmas?"

"Me and my sister also go to church with Mum and Dad, and we sing
carols. When we get home, we put cookies and milk by the chimney
and hang up our stockings. We hardly sleep waiting for Santa Claus
to bring our presents."

"That's also very nice, Jimmy," she said.

Realizing that there was a Jewish boy in the class and not wanting
to leave him out of the discussion, she asked him the same
question.

"Now, Isaac Cohen, what do you do at Christmas?"

"Well, we also sing carols," Isaac responded.

Surprised, Mrs. Jones questioned further. "Tell us what you sing."

"Well, it's the same thing every year. Dad comes home from the
office. We all pile into the Rolls Royce and drive to his toy
factory. When we get inside, we look at all the empty shelves
and sing, "What a friend we have in Jesus." Then we all go to
the Bahamas for 2 weeks.

L4D Would go great with my new comp ;) *Cough i have a subscription cough*

I'm don't understand your joke Trigger, why would you hollow out the head?

Anyway here's mine, I don't have L4D:

On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback was sitting at a traffic light. Next to him was a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop said to the kid, "Nice bike you've got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

The kid said, "Yeah."

The cop said, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a taillight on that bike."

The cop then proceeded to issue the kid a $20 bicycle safety violation ticket. The kid took the ticket, but before he rode off he said, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

Humouring the kid, the cop said, "Yeah, he sure did."

The kid said, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Phantom

I don't have L4D:

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Haha lol, nice try :p.

Awesome jokes guys, keep them coming!

It was just before Christmas and the magistrate was in a happy mood. He asked the prisoner who was in the dock, 'What are you charged with?'

The prisoner replied, 'Doing my Christmas shopping too early.'

'That's no crime', said the magistrate. 'Just how early were you doing this shopping?'

'Before the shop opened', answered the prisoner.

EDIT : Think of this as the beginning of the end for my WoW addiction.

EDIT2:
Q:Why is Christmas just like another day at the office?
A:You end up doing all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

EDIT3: Good idea - I wonder where you got it from :P

This all seems rather professional and out of the blue...

Quote:

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What's worse than sitting on Father Christmas' lap and he gets an erection?

When he stands up and you don't fall off.

---

We had a meeting this-morning (well, yesturday morning) to discuss what we could do to improve the community and servers. This was one of the results xD.

EDIT: Zomg! "Feel like your missing out", honestly Chalex :P.

What was Christmas like at the cannibal's house?

They had grandma for Christmas dinner.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Phantom

We had a meeting this-morning (well, yesturday morning) to discuss what we could do to improve the community and servers. This was one of the results xD.

EDIT: Zomg! "Feel like your missing out", honestly Chalex :P.

---

took us 40 minutes to decide what to do :P

Yay for the british way of deciding things. Talk about all the possible options, stupid and otherwise for a long period of time, then break up and go have a cup of tea. Good comp though

Could do with a copy likes, so heres a cracker of a joke :P (see the pun cracker :D)

A dog is for life not just for Christmas, so be careful at the next office Christmas party.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Phantom

I'm don't understand your joke Trigger, why would you hollow out the head?

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Sigh phantom, please tell me that everyone else got, i thought it was rather simple yet effective tbh :confused:

Oh and ur grammer failed then, tut tut

Q:What's the evilest way to kill a snowman?

A:Wait for it to melt and leave a suicide note.

Well here's mine

Santa's Bad Day

One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for is annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.

Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.

When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great Christmas tree.

The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"

Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

I look young Chalex. Isn't that enough?

(Sorry, that was really uncalled for..)

Chalex..... can i make an anti-campbell joke?

as long as its got something christmassy in it y not :P

Father Christmas' sledge broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, 'Can you help me fix my sledge?'
'Sorry,' the motorist replied. 'I'm not a mechanic - I'm a chiropodist.'
'Well, can you give me a toe?'

can we say dirty jokes? lol~

Sorry but you dont qualify for this compotiton.

damn.....oh well~i already have a copy of L4D but i need another one for me

...because we all need two copies now don't we?

{вℓσσ∂Øค†н}ﮙhigurei|†£คR

Whaaaat theeeeerrrr helllzzzz?

Darkeagle got it correct, as your post count is under the stated minimum of 10 and you have only recently signed up, you application for this competition is rejected.

Also, I can understand the need for a second copy to give as a gift to someone, but why would you need another one for yourself? Am I correct in assuming that the VAC system had something to do with this?

Is anyone stupid enough to cheat in a co-op game?

You'd be surprised. I've seen some real dumbasses on the internets.

Heh, you'll probaly meet a fair few next week then.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by D_K_Head

Is anyone stupid enough to cheat in a co-op game?

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VAC banned from one game = VAC banned from ALL Valve games.

Vox, stop trying to be a mod, it really annoying!

lol? Marshys turn, Please keep this topic on track.

so... free copy of L4D...

na, none of my friends deserve a free game from me :P

Quote:

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Originally Posted by D_K_Head

...because we all need two copies now don't we?

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nah it's because my brother and me own the same steam account unless it's my alt acct which only has the required games to play another L4D and you can't register the same L4D code twice or of course i could use a HEY HO! but i don't wanna cheat someone out of their money

OK, so again, why does the fact you have an alt account entitle your to a second copy. If you want to use the first one, then don't get banned from VAC. Why do you have an alt account anyway?

EDIT - FFS, stop using silly sigs, choose one which doesn't actually move.

Nevertheless, as I have said, as the application was made before you reached the minimum post count of 10, you are not eligible for the competition.

Now, that's enough of me talking like a stuck up prick.

No, its true. And even though he has now gone over 10 posts (5 of them in a massive row), he is still not eligible, as he already has a copy.

Fastest ban in ATK history?

He isn't banned. And sNk was the fastest, 16 hours.

I know he's not banned, I thought he would be soon.

And whoaa, what did sNk do? I'll look at the posts XD

Right, forgot all about this thread, my joke lol:

Q: How do you know Santa has to be a man?
A: No woman is going to wear the same outfit year after year.

Hahaha, nice one Mr. Big.