The ATK Office Roleplay

Ok , The shoutbox isn't the best place to continue the massive amount of epic lulz of the ATK Office.

If you want to roleplay about ATK Offices please do it in here.
ATK Ltd is a Box merchant.
If you want to query your position ask me elsewhere and we'll discuss/change it


http://www.bioteams.com/groupshot_440.jpg

Roles & Hierarchy:

Supervisors:

Chalex4 - Works from home, Head of ATK Ltd
Chazlene - Vice President, own Office
Hutch - Regional Manager (Only one region), shares office with Bloo and Spawn
Vox - Human resources, own office

IT Department:
Mark Kreuz (NPC) - Head of IT, in the basement

Employees (No offices, Cubicle or nothing): Nev (Intern)
Fatal
Bloo - Public relations officer
Spawn
Chaos - Advertising
Daemon - Accountant
eStevo - Box Seller
Hardie (Cleaner)
ez (Cleaner)
Phil - Security Guard (NPC)
Janet- Secretary (NPC)
Joe - Not sure what he does but it must be important (NPC)
Mike - Forklift Driver and HGV Driver (NPC)


Post what you like but it must be in character. Develop your character, don't start going "Lol I kill you with Chainsaw". Don't double post. Oh and Speech must be in speech marks and action in *. You may talk as an NPC if you please but please put in (NPC) tag. Only use NPCs at the top of this post. If you wish to join in later on ask me. Please spell correctly. You can talk as other Humans while in roleplay if it helps the thread along, but you must ask their permission first. Out of character chat must be done after a //. You need a // at the beginning of each line of ooc chat.
Also if someone has posted while you were posting, please read their post and edit yours so the story makes sense.
EDIT: The word admin needs to be supervisor.

Example:

Hutch: "Hi there Phil" *Picking up a cardboard box*
Phil (NPC): "Hi Hutch, you can't come in right now" *Palms Hutch in the face*


*BEGIN*

// Great idea Hutch

*Rubbing an eye as he enters the building, staggers slowly towards the coffee machine, rummage around for his mug and takes Chazlene's by mistake*
Bloo: "Oh, hey Joe, finished that big project?"
Joe (NPC): "..."
Bloo: "Yeah, guess it was pretty hard?" *gets some coffee*
Joe (NPC): "..."
Bloo "Harder then my job... smiling for the local newsletter after giving the school boxes for it's move down the street isn't hard..." *takes one swig of coffee*
Joe (NPC): "..."
Bloo: "Anyway, see you later Joe, need to get into the office first otherwise Hutch will scream at me, again"
*With Chazlene's coffe mug in hand, Bloo walks off to his joint office, casually stepping over Hutch who is lying on the floor, then nods to Phil and finally enters his office*
Joe (NPC): "..."

// Public Relations ftw!

Hutch : "Grugh" *Groggily gets up*
Phil (NPC): "Maybe you'll be nicer to me now, if you'd carried on walking you'd have tripped over a bin"
Hutch: "What bin?"
Phil (NPC): "This bin!" *Dumps a waste paper basket with nasty things in over Hutch's head*

Hutch: "Arghh, I need to file these reports! Phil, go ask Mark if you can play Yeti sports on one of our crappy Dells, get out of my hair." *Stomps into Office*
Hutch: " Good Bloo, you are in first, want a biscuit?" *Sits down in chair and boots up PC*

Daemon: *Slowly open the office door to find Hutch standing there with a smile on his face* "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, Hutch, god dam you. Well, i need to start work right away so move."

Hutch: "well, i was gonna ask you to get a coffee with me..."

Daemon: "Well i hate coffee any way so get off my back." *Walks quickly away to his desk and falls asleep*

Bloo: *Takes picture of Daemon asleep* "Ha, sleeping on the job ehy fellow? Well, i think its time for some tea and crumpets lads!" *He speaks this in a very old english voice*

Daemon: *Suddenly Wakes Up* "OH MY DEAR SWEET JEBUS, WERE IN £3000 DEBT" *Looks around in quite distress to find he shouted out what he meant to whisper to Hutch later* "Oops"

*Cold Silence*

Hutch: "Bloo, have you had another stroke due to the stress of work so that you now speak in a victorian voice? Daemon wake up, go count your money like a J word, I need to know our budget for this month, I'm guessing about £0 because of your outburst" *Nudges Daemon, picks him up and escorts him out the office door*
Hutch: "Also this isn't your Office. You work in a cubicle"

Bloo: "I wasn't speaking in a Victorian accent" *sips from the coffee mug* "I wasn't" *looks around the office then bites his lip, realising he was pretending to work on an off computer*

Daemon: *Bursts through the office door* "EVERYBODY LISTEN UP, Due to company loss of money since we started, it looks like you will get no bonus this year. Infact, with the money that was lost, you need to pay up so me and the supervisors can go on holiday. *Hurrys back through the office door so not to get stampeeded on by the employees*

FaTaL: *Runs after daemon* "You arse come here i want that goddamn bonus you here me." *Kicks a dog after losing the chase* "Bloody supervisors!"

Hutch: "Bloody hell Nev, why do you keep letting that stray dog following you in to the building. I just recieved this postcard from Janet, she was in Majorica for her holiday. Shame she got back here before the Royal Mail Delivered it. I'm not going to talk to her about it, she scares me." *Starts rifling papers in office and tapping at the computer trying to find competitions on the internet to win £10000 to get the company out of debt and get a new car as well, shame he just sent £100 to a Nigerian and hasn't heard back yet and his PC is FULL of Adware*

Chazlene: *Sat in his office, isolated from everyone else, Chazlene puts his feet up on his desk, with his jacket hanging on his chair and his loudest tie around his neck. One of his hands is failing to twiddle a pen, while the other is lazily controlling the arrows keys on his keyboard. Looking around in boredom, Chazlene glimpses between the blinds of his window something moving. He gets up and leaves his office to investigate further. It turns out to be a stray dog. He wasn't that surprised, since he had heard Hutch shouting to an employee about it earlier. However Chazlene found the dog irritatingly small, and didn't hesitate to kick it out of the nearest window. He briefly went back into his office and, still standing, spoke over the intercom:* "Hardie, I've got a little errand for you, run down the park and find another stray dog, and make sure it's big."

Hutch: *Walks into Chazlene's Office* "So you've heard we're broke, got any ideas on how to make a fat load of dosh very quickly?"

Chazlene: "No, not really, although you might want to take your PC to Mark if you've been looking for fast money on Google like last time. Google is NOT The Answer."

Hutch: " No, The Answer is 42." *Smiles a nerdy smile* "I'll get stevo selling some boxes"

*An hour later*

Hutch: *Recieves phonecall* "So eStevo, you've sold enough boxes to get us out of debt!!! Brilliant news! Chazlene we are debt free, yet we are still a bit poor. Someone get me some celebratory coffee NOW!"

Chazlene: *Gives a slight smile* "Very good Hutch, send Stevo up here, I'm going to give that man a free pen".

*Chazlene walks over to the coffee machine, and frowns at how many more varieties of coffee there are than tea. He reaches for his mug, but finds that it has gone. Clenching his fists in rage, he looks around, and kicks open the nearest door, which happens to be Vox's office, and stands in the doorway.*

Chazlene: *Putting on a Vinnie Jones voice* "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY MUG?!"

Vox: *Makes a pathetic noise* "Errr... I don't know! I haven't done anything!"

*Chazlene angrily grunts and leaves Vox's office, slamming the door behind him which causes a picture to fall off the wall. He then hurries back to his office and starts making a 'LOST MUG' poster in Word to put up around the building.*

Daemon: *Walks into the room with his head down* "Erm..." *Whispers into Hutch's ear* "I kinda mentioned the wrong £3000, i was meant to say £30000. I'm so sorry, were going to need more than boxes. Maybe we could auction Bloo off for a night to one of the office men *cough* i mean women" *Slowly walks out of the office door before Hutch can throttle him*

Hutch: "Well, we are going to have to sort this out calmly and peacefully. Daemon, I'm going to cut you a new orifice!!!! Come here!! *Chases Daemon but just can't get him* "Well we are going to have to go back to solving the debt problem again."

chaos: *Walks into the office and across to the vending machine and bangs a pound coin in. Yawns and realizes the coin has come straight back out.* "Ugh, we need to get this thing fixed." *chaos rams the coin back in and presses the C8 which is for a Lion Bar. It clangs into the bottom of the machine and 45p is launched out of the change hole. He picks the coins up and the lion bar and goes down to his cubicle.*

*chaos yawns and sits down*

// Nice idea Hutch!

VoX: *Walking out of office towards the vending machine* "Grrrr someone must have bought a lion bar again, the machines jammed up!" *Puts in 80p and presses G6 for a Mars bar* "Well, time to rebuild my office ofter what Chazlene did."

Joe (NPC): "Hey, want a hand lifting that?" *Goes over to help VoX lifting a filing cabinet*

VoX: "Yeah thanks, want to go and grab some tea?" *Looks around for his England mug*

Joe (NPC): "Yeah sure, you ever going to get a new mug?" *Looks down at the England one in disgust*

VoX: "Yes, check this one out that I had made by our partners in Asia." *Shows Joe an ATK mug*

Joe (NPC): "Nice, what you going to do with this one?" *Gestures towards old mug*

VoX: "I was thinking something like this." *Throws the mug out of the window conveniently hitting the small dog that was kicked by Chazlene the day before*

Joe (NPC): "What type of tea you want?" *Stopping at tea machine outside Chazlene's office.

VoX: *Leans into Chazlene's office* "Want a cuppa Chaz?"

Chazlene: "I refuse to drink any tea until I get my mug back!" *Folds arms*

VoX: "Well I thought I saw Bloo with it this morning, but I'm not 100%" *Gets a cup of Tetley and conveniently forgets about Joe* "Good luck finding the mug Chaz!" *Walks back to his office just missing a file threw in through a random window*

*Bloo in hazy half-awake view of the world continues to pretend to be working, actually typing gibberish and talking into an unplugged phone, there is a change of scene and he's floating on a cloud with giant elephant-men wandering around, one of them ushers him into sitting on a very comfy looking cloud chair*
Bloo: "Oh, thankyou very much! Wow, this place sure is better with the new decoaration"
Elephant-Man (NPC): "It's no trouble, would you like something to eat, or hot chocolate?"
Bloo: "That'd be wonderful!"
Elephant-Man (NPC): "Right away, after you finish your paperwork, you're three days behind!"
Bloo: "Waaah?"
*The wonderful heavenly scene suddenly snaps back to the office, the elephant-man is replaced by Hutch, furious at Bloo*
Bloo: "Bugger."

Daemon: *Through intercom* "Hardie!!!!! Cleaner Boy!!! Your new stupid dog went doo doo on your new shoes!!! Come and clean it up, im playing Spade Invaders!!!"

chaos: "Hmm, I think I better get working" *Turns and notices there isn't a computer in the cubicle.* "Uhm...What the hell happened to my computer?!"

chaos: *Chaos gets up and goes to the Reception.* "Hey Janet, you seen my computer?"

Janet (NPC): "Someone came to pick it up this morning, Hutch sold it. We're desperate for money."

chaos: "And you didn't think to stop him?"

Janet (NPC): "Why would I?"

chaos: "Well you know, if it wasn't for me we would hardly sell anyway. Never mind." *Sulks his way along to Hutch's office and knocks on the door."

Hutch: "Hi, go down to IT and get a new PC from Mark, its a Dell I'm afraid but we've got to cut costs."*Yells down corridor to Daemon* "Daemon, clean the turd yourself, it might help you count. Bloo stop staring and get back to work"

*Getting out of the office as quickly as possible, possibly due to Hutch, Bloo wanders over to the coffee machine to refill the mug of coffee, on his way he yawns and looks at it, realising he took Chazlene's mug he bites his lip again and looks around nervously, noticing that Daemon is next to him and preoccupied playing Spade Invaders (the gardening simulator), Bloo places Chazlene's mug on his desk and walks over to the coffee machine, taking his own mug and filling it up, then drinks from his mug, he suddely snaps awake, looks up at the clock, realising he has a important appointment with the local church, they're boxing up the old organ!"
Bloo: "Bugger, i'm late!"
*Bloo rushes out of the building getting to the church, but Phil puts out his foot and Bloo trips over it*
Bloo: "Nggh"
Phil (NPC): "Hey Bloo, sorry, no leaving the office till five."

VoX: "Phil Bloo has special permission to leave before 5 today"

Phil (NPC): "Sure thing Boss"

Bloo: "Thanks mate" *Rushes off to Church*

Daemon: "Hmm, i s'pose ill leave the turd there, thats all he's worth. Anyway, *Over Intercom* Anyone up for a game of CSS? *cough* I mean anyone want to play a game which includes work?"
Mark Kreuz (NPC): *Bursts through the door* "BUNGEE PANTS"

//EDIT:This is Hutch: Oric is now Mark Kreuz (NPC)

chaos: *Muttering under his breath*"I'd play CSS but nooooooo, Hutch had to sell my freaking PC." *Knocks on Mark's Door* "Where the hell is he?" *Chaos begins to shoulder barge the door until it comes off it's hinges, once into the IT department he takes one of the PCs.*

*Barges past VoX on the way back to his cubicle.*
Vox: "What's wrong with you?"
chaos: "Nothing." *Takes the PC into his cubicle and begins shouting and throwing things around inside the cubicle.*

*After hearing what Vox said about his mug, Chazlene storms into Bloo's office with his fists still clenched. After searching around for a while, he finally decides to go and check the coffee machine to see if had been put back. Just like Bloo, he catches sight of Daemon playing CSS in his cubicle, and marches over to him.*

Chazlene: "There's a T to your right by the way, but that sort of thing is going to cost you a cubicle wall... *Catches sight of His own mug* ...Is that... *Quickly grabs Daemon around the collar* So you stole my mug! You think you can play funny with me?! Say goodbye to you whole cubicle!"

Daemon: "Wait, what? It wasn't me! I didn't steal it! It was already there!"

Chazlene: "Of course... you were too engrossed with CSS that you didn't notice someone place it there!"

Daemon: "Exactly and well, I was playing Spade Invaders then actually...and you're standing in some dog faeces Sir."

Chazlene: *Looks down at his feet, with a look of contained rage on his face* "Right, I'm going to get to the bottom of this..."

*Chazlene takes off his shoe, grabs his mug and walks back to his office, Daemon can hear him back on the intercom barking orders at Hardie.*

*Parks his car in the disabled space of the church carpark, Bloo rushes to the camera's and smiles a cheesy smile and shakes the vicars hand*
Bloo: "We're very proud to be moving this fine organ! Yes, if you need boxes, get an ATK box! With extra padding for rough trips!"
*Bloo, proud of his little public relations, shakes some hands and goes on a tour around the church*

Hutch:*Over intercom* "Hmm, According to Chalex's email, we are going to need to hold a meeting to sort out our problems. If everyone could go to the meeting room please at 3 o'clock. Daemon, bring the white board. Nev, drop that sausage and carry these papers to the meeting room"

*There is a depressing groan across all of the cubicles after hearing this announcement, followed by Chazlene poking his head around his office door*

Chazlene: *Briefly grumbles about Chalex being lazy* "Right lads, you heard him, Fatal, get some charts and graphs made, doesn't matter what's on them, so long as they look vaguely important. Hardie, give the table a good wipe down in there, it needs a clean after what we caught Bloo and Janet doing in there the other day."

*Chazlene returns to his desk to sort out the agenda for the meeting.*

Hutch: "My eyes still burn from walking in on their experience. Graphs that don't look important are very important. As important as the well being of our workers if anyone has any problems they want to tell me about in the strictest confidence can tell me without fear of me laughing. I'll only laugh a little if its really really funny, or if I can sell your story to some womens magazine."

*Bloo arrives back at the office after his little trip, as he walks up, Janet runs up to him...*
Janet (NPC): "Bloo, they've called a meeting in the briefing room!"
Bloo: "What? You DID remove the video recorder right.... right?"
Janet: (NPC): "Err"
Bloo: "This day is just getting worse and worse...." *grits teeth and looks around* "I'd better get up there, they'll be pretty pissed with me being late..." *takes a deep breath and runs for the meeting room, dodging Phil's attempt at blocking him, Phil shakes his fist in anger*
Phil (NPC): "I'll get you, you'll see!"

chaos: *Upon hearing the announcement chaos gets up off the floor and starts moving, on his way up to the meeting room he notices that he has pen all over his shirt, his hair is scruffed up and he's lost his tie.* "What do you need a tie for anyway? All I do is sit on my ass and talk to people on the phone. I mean, it's not like they see me." *After his brief conversation with himself, he sighs and starts moving for the meeting again. He finally gets to the room and sits down, sighs again then relaxes.*

*At 3 o'clock, Chazlene finally decided to enter the meeting room, where most of the ATK employees had already gathered, most slouched in their chairs looking bored. Chazlene walked straight to the end of the long table, and stood with his back to the window and the various boards showing different charts.*

Chazlene: "Right, as you all know, Chalex, our loveable leader, has called a meeting. I can see most of you are here already, where the hell is Bloo?" *There is a mumble across the table as everyone groans that they don't know.* "Well then, first on the agenda, and most importantly, is that earlier on today my mug went missing. Luckily I have found it, but I still want to find out who decided to steal it in the first place. So whoever it was, own up now. Come on, be a man about it, I won't get angry."

*Bloo, late of course, rushes in panting, everyone looking at him*
Bloo: "Err, Sorry i'm late everybody, I was just at an appointment at the church... they bought one GX-1337 boxes, you know, the really big ones, with gems and stuff..."

*rushes over to a pot plant in the corner and snatches the video recorder hiding it away*
Bloo: "Just... left some notes here... anyway! i've got the check for 27,000 pounds for the ark, err, box."

Hutch: "Essentialations according to my calculations, we're no longer in debt thanks to Bloo's sale. See guys, god does help you in your hour of need, unless you are a rapist. Then God won't help you. Now are there any more problems you would like to discuss with me?" *Swings back on chair* "We aren't leaving, we are still having the meeting guys." *Everyone in the room suddenly groans with boredom.*

Chazlene: "Well then, that's most of the agenda done now. Anyway, well done Bloo, have a free pen. By the way, may I ask what that actually was you took from the pot plant just now?"

chaos: "Ugh, so unless we find something to talk about, we just...Sit here? Oh and I think Hardie didn't do a very good job..." *chaos pulls a condom that appears to have been sellotaped to the underneath of the table.*

*Bloo coughs quietly and looks to where he hid his video recorder*
"Oh that? Nothing, nothing, think I left my phone there... for some reason, been looking for it for awhile now"
*Bloo eyes the condom and grits his teeth*
"Well, I guess thats all right, with that big debt issue over..." *stands up to leave, and bashes the video recorder against the table by accident, by chance it was on the 'play' button...*
*muttering under his breath* "Bugger"

*Chazlene smirks as he listens to Bloo's and Janet's voices playing on the video recorder, happy that Bloo had accidentally revealed his secret. He then nods at Hutch, indicating that he should take the recorder off Bloo.*

Hutch: "I believe that is office property. Give it here" *Snatches the tape recorder of Bloo, the tape is still running, suddenly it goes fuzzy and we hear the sound of Chalex's wedding video*

Chazlene:" Thank god the flip screen is not out, too happy an occasion "

*Mutters to himself as his video recorder his confiscated*
Bloo: "Oh comeon... they're just jealous, that they can't have her."