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Thread: Things People Really Said In Court

  1. #1
    Deagle > Five-Seven VoX's Avatar
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    Things People Really Said In Court

    I doubt some of these are tru but they are quite funny.

    Q: What is your date of birth?
    A: July fifteenth.
    Q: What year?
    A: Every year.

    Q: This myasthenia gravis - does it affect your memory at all?
    A: Yes.
    Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
    A: I forget.
    Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

    Q: All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to?
    A: Oral.

    Q: How old is your son - the one living with you.
    A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
    Q: How long has he lived with you?
    A: Forty-five years.

    Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
    A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
    Q: And why did that upset you?
    A: My name is Susan.

    Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
    A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.

    Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo occult?
    A: We both do.
    Q: Voodoo?
    A: We do.
    Q: You do?
    A: Yes, voodoo.

    Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

    Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

    Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

    Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?

    Q: Did he kill you?

    Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?

    Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?

    Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

    Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
    A: Yes.
    Q: And what were you doing at that time?

    Q: She had three children, right?
    A: Yes.
    Q: How many were boys?
    A: None.
    Q: Were there any girls?

    Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
    A: Yes.
    Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

    Q: Mr. Slattery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
    A: I went to Europe, sir.
    Q: And you took your new wife?

    Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
    A: By death.
    Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

    Q: Can you describe the individual?
    A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
    Q: Was this a male, or a female?

    Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
    A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

    Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
    A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
    Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
    A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
    Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
    A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

  2. #2
    ATK Member Isphera's Avatar
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    Re: Things People Really Said In Court

    Haha, made me laugh hard. Good find.

  3. #3
    Community Manager Chazlene's Avatar
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    Re: Things People Really Said In Court

    They're quite funny, amusing how it's the questioner making the tarded mistakes.
    "If at first you don't succeed, spend a lot of money to have a professional do it for you."


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  4. #4
    ATK Member Mr.Big's Avatar
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    Re: Things People Really Said In Court

    How many times have you committed suicide? mahahahhahaha

    wow some of this is just so darn stupid
    Last edited by Mr.Big; 13th May 2008 at 08:56 PM.
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  5. #5

    Re: Things People Really Said In Court

    I'm sure for that one what he tried to say is how many times have you TRIED to kill yourself... I hope



    17:42 - Colonel Mitch |ATK|: DE IS NOT A NOOB

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