IMO, lines 14 and 15 would sound better with an added syllable:
"And then they kiss.
Their eyes closed shut,"
I think it just flows a bit better. Other than that, fantastic poem. Lucky you, she's very talented.
IMO, lines 14 and 15 would sound better with an added syllable:
"And then they kiss.
Their eyes closed shut,"
I think it just flows a bit better. Other than that, fantastic poem. Lucky you, she's very talented
i7 920@3.8 | GTX280 | HAF 932 | 6GB | Corsair 520W
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i knowOriginally Posted by Phantom
Lucky you, she's very talented
I could take this in two ways....Lucky you, she's very talented
No, I should stop doing this, it's harsh on Daemon, and makes me looks like a spaz
its not harsh, for all you know, it could be true, but unluckily for you, its only for me to know, MUWHAHAHAHAHA
Wow, nice poem, I've got bad mental images of you and her from that...
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