Jokes

[VoX]

how about some jokes? ill start

and englishman, an irishman and a scotishman are on a boat that gets stranded on a desert island. they find the natives who are cannibals and are given a chalenge by them:- "u must bring bak 10 of 1 type of fruit and then we will tell u the rest of the challenge"
so they go and get 10 fruit pieces. the englishman is first bak with 10 apples and they say to him "you need to put them all up ur ass without making a face or we will eat u" so he gets to the 6th one and then cringes, he is eaten.
the irishman is next bak with grapes so he does the same, gets to the 9th and starts laughing "we are now going to eat you because u made a face, but why did you laugh?" "im sorry" he says "but the scotishman is coming bak with PINEAPPLES!"

[BaD-BoY]

Haha

[geK]

No, no, no.. B-boy, what you just did is called S-P-A-M-M-I-N-G. Please don't reply if you don't have anything to say.

[Hutch]

Please only say things badboy if they are over 5 or 7 words long, hopefully a paragraph or two.

[VoX]

hes laughing cause the scotishman is realy a norweigan and its him

and look at his bar, ive been on here longer than him, he must spam so much!

[D@rw!n]

how about some jokes? ill start

and englishman, an irishman and a scotishman are on a boat that gets stranded on a desert island. they find the natives who are cannibals and are given a chalenge by them:- "u must bring bak 10 of 1 type of fruit and then we will tell u the rest of the challenge"
so they go and get 10 fruit pieces. the englishman is first bak with 10 apples and they say to him "you need to put them all up ur ass without making a face or we will eat u" so he gets to the 6th one and then cringes, he is eaten.
the irishman is next bak with grapes so he does the same, gets to the 9th and starts laughing "we are now going to eat you because u made a face, but why did you laugh?" "im sorry" he says "but the scotishman is coming bak with PINEAPPLES!"

Lol good joke VoX! I'm really no good at jokes so I won't try anything right now btw. ^^

[VoX]

hehe ty very much

[Chazlene]

Two men are at the same hole on a golf course, they haven't met before, so are greeting each other. One of the men says to the other: 'So, what job do you have?'
The second man replies saying: 'Ah, well I'm a hitman, it's £1000 for a job, I've actually got my sniper rifle with me here.' The second man pulls out his Sniper Rifle from his golf bag and lets the first man hold it and look down the scope, who says: 'Wow! I can see all the way to my house with this, and through my bedroom window, where my wife is naked...with the gardener...'
Naturally the first man is really pissed off, so he asks the hitman to shoot his with and the gardener. 'Shoot my wife in the mouth.' He says, 'because she is always nagging at me, and shoot the damn gardener in the bollocks, because he's having sex with my wife!'
The hitman takes aim with his rifle, looks down the scope and says: 'You know, if I fired now I could save you £1000.'

[Hutch]

What's red and scratches at the glass before it explodes?

A baby in a microwave

Why does Michael Jackson never win the Grand Prix?

He's always comeing in a little behind

Whats red and covered in newspaper?

Abortion of chips

A man buys his wonderful wife a nice 4 door car. She decides to take her two kids on a school run with her new car. The car swerves slightly as she goes round a corner on the country road but she doesn't take any notice of it. As she turns round the next corner the car swerves again but this time into the path of an articulated lorry BAM!
The woman wakes up in hospital. There is a doctor standing over her.
"Don't worry you are ok, you've been in a coma but there are no signs of brain damage" says the doctor.
"But what about my kids?" asks the woman. "My son is a great footballer he could have played for england and my daughter she was amazing at tennis."
"Shame!" said the doctor "Your daughter lost both her arms and your son both his legs." After some crying the woman asked what the date was.
The doctor replied "April 1st 2006".
The woman says " So it was just a joke?" suddenly feeling relieved.
"Oh Yes" Said the doctor, "They were both of course killed on Impact, I thought you knew".

[BaD-BoY]

hehe ty very much

Hmmm, i had 6 words and here is 10.....4 words more ^^....Well Vox, this is S-P-A-M-M-I-N-G or???

And sorry Hutch, i cant said the jokes was good, becouse Vox will say that is spam, so...

[VoX]

Hmmm, i had 6 words and here is 10.....4 words more ^^....Well Vox, this is S-P-A-M-M-I-N-G or???

And sorry Hutch, i cant said the jokes was good, becouse Vox will say that is spam, so...

im whats called the thread starter and someone talked directly to me and i dont just come on here to spam to get my posts up

[VoX]

Two men are at the same hole on a golf course, they haven't met before, so are greeting each other. One of the men says to the other: 'So, what job do you have?'
The second man replies saying: 'Ah, well I'm a hitman, it's £1000 for a job, I've actually got my sniper rifle with me here.' The second man pulls out his Sniper Rifle from his golf bag and lets the first man hold it and look down the scope, who says: 'Wow! I can see all the way to my house with this, and through my bedroom window, where my wife is naked...with the gardener...'
Naturally the first man is really pissed off, so he asks the hitman to shoot his with and the gardener. 'Shoot my wife in the mouth.' He says, 'because she is always nagging at me, and shoot the damn gardener in the bollocks, because he's having sex with my wife!'
The hitman takes aim with his rifle, looks down the scope and says: 'You know, if I fired now I could save you £1000.'

lol it remids me of a birthday card
1 guy says to other while motioning to a contraption "whats that?"
he is told its 1 of them new ball cleaners
u open the page to see him washing his balls in it and complaining that there is no screen round it