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Thread: A Very Vicious Review: Fallout 3

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    ATK Member Vicious Horizon's Avatar
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    A Very Vicious Review: Fallout 3

    Fallout 3

    Developer: Bethesda
    Platform: PC, 360, that other one..
    Multiplayer: Unfortunately Not.
    Single player: YES!

    Fallout 3, where can I begin? Before I even played Fallout 3 I assured myself that is was going to be absolutely amazing. The reasons were plain, I had played Fallout 1 and completed it countless times, The same with Fallout 2. I also.. 'obtained' a copy of the Fallout 3 (Van Buren) demo which turned out to be either fake or shite. But to the real game, Fallout 3 starts you out by shooting yourself out of your mum, you then choose what you'll look like at the age of 19, it's not a bad attempt at character generation really, and in fact, I was quite proud, Bethesda had done something almost right! You then go through small parts of your childhood expressing advanced skills in opening a cot, and gaining SPECIAL (Strength, Perception, Endurance, Charisma, Intelligence, Agility, Luck) skills from a book. You then take a test at the age of 16 (I ignored the bit where you get a BB Gun because it's extremely long-winded and in the end, quite shit.) This test seems to have absolutely nothing with the game but the questions and answers entertained me. The first plot twist, you saw coming, honestly, it couldn't have been more obvious than a monkey jumping around with a used condom slapping you in the face. Your dad leaves, and for some absurd reason you're going to die if you don't GTFO of there. So the daughter of the overseer gives you a gun and tells you to hurry, which, if you obey, you miss the baseball bat, the guy who bullied you pleading for you to save his mum and many things. Being the twat that I am, I blow the overseer's head off with a baseball bat in front of his daughter, then start tea-bagging his dead body. This is the kind of thing that Fallout 3 excels at.

    Although some twats cry and say that Fallout 3 has 'sh**tz0rz voyce akting nd vu ppl look da same', I think that they're all chimps with down syndrome, the voice acting is realistic, the people (apart from the hair styles) look nothing like each other. The dialogue has many absolutely brilliant areas where you actually feel convinced, then again, you have Mr. Burke, who, quite honestly, is a Berk. Bethesda have injected F3 with their especially dark humor, such as the sign reading: "Scenic Overlook", where all that lays before you is the rocky wasteland and the wrecked city in the distance, that neatly brings me onto why so many people dislike Fallout.

    The simplest reason is, (quite simply) that they don't play the game, they just run around like blind lepers shooting at everything that moves, hoping that the person they're looking for is going to advance their quest, if YOU are the person doing this, you are first of all, a twat, and second of all, someone that will complain that Fallout 3 was too short and useless. All I have to say to you, is STFU. The reason that you think the game is too short is that you don't explore the game, you dont prod that insect wondering, is that going to rape my first-born child if I shoot it? or try and find that B-51 Power armour hidden in Fort Something in the north-west of the map, those things are what has kept the game alive for me for well over 50 hours, I've only just seen my- Oops, shit, hang on...

    Spoiler Spoiler:


    Another thing which immortalises this game is that you always find something new, there are things which have nothing to do with the main quest, but still contain amazing revelations which can make things clearer in the sub-plot, or make them that bit out of this world.

    Now, onto Bethesda's take on the Fallout universe. What I love about Bethesda is that they took so many of the puns and jokes from Fallout 1 and 2 and threw them head-first into Fallout 3, they kept the graphical designs loyal, but they brought their own ideas into it.

    Fallout 3 is fun, it's like they gave you a world, blew it up so you didn't have to, then let you on it to roam around, the settings seem realistic, I found myself creeping around a corner with a Sniper Rifle check if there were any super-mutants and found myself in a huge courtyard-area, with a subway station, I'll talk about those in a minute. But I found a teddy-bear, then a pram, then a child's skeleton, that almost drove shivvers down my spine, then I proceeded to pick up the skeleton, put it in the pram, put the bear in its arms, then threw the pram down a flight of stairs, then dropped a grenade on it, just to see how far it would go. The world of Fallout is so diverse and complex, that I can't even start to explain the psychological revelations that this game has tapped into.

    Now, the final paragraph of this review (for now), is about the subways. There are two ways to get around the city, topside, and subside. Topside you will face super-mutants, raiders, anything that could lurk, in the subside, you get wolves and feral ghouls. I personally prefer the former option, but alot of people lack the confidence to roam around Washington DC with its lack of cover and over-population of Super-mutants. The subway has its fair share of loot, but there's a good chance of getting lost and getting ambushed by a group of ghouls around that ever-so-tempting corner.

    In my conclusion, fallout 3 does have its flaws, but is one of my favourite games so far, my cousin, who is doing gaming studies at university has lost 12 hours just randomly walking around the wastes. If Fallout was allowed multiplayer the game would become my ultimate all-time favourite game.....

    In The World.



    Totally not stolen from PCG Magazine in any way, shape or form.

    FALLOUT3 Reviewed by Vicious Horizon...


    Yes, I know that this review isn't up to the full standard, but I had 15 minutes to do it :P

    PS. Thank's Chalex for the saving of this thread xD
    Last edited by Vicious Horizon; 3rd January 2009 at 11:42 AM.
    Take that ya one-eyed, bomb-lobbin', cactus eatin', pot bellied, thug fat jigglin-chicken whoopin' big, back-stabbin lob-armed creepy spastic bloody, blind-eyed pashy little twitchy pickle-headed rocke- hoppin, potato-poppin' phony two-faced stealthy mutant bastard!


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