The ATK Forum Roleplay (Again!)

[Bloo]

In Spaceship form! I was reading through old threads recently and decided to resurrect this old gem in a brand new form, previously it was set in an office, the only logical conclusion is that we’d go to space next. Feel free to play join in.

So the USS ATK is voyaging through space, with its well trained and completely irrelevant crew. The crew being:

Officers: (if you’re interested in playing, put what your job is here, like chief of security, or kittens, or something) Admin and Mods obviously.
Chalex – Captain, in charge of maintaining the whole ship. Is very protective about his Captain's Chair.
Chazlene – First Officer.
Bloo – Navigator/ Second Officer.
VoX – Pilot / Third Officer.
Phantom -

Crewmen (yellow, blue or normal names):
The rest of you are the crew.
Oricalcos - Gunnery Chief
D_K Head - Chief Scientist/ Doctor
Vicious Horizon - Ship's Noob/ Junior Crewman
(Kinda-sorta NPC) Mr Big - Maintenance Engineer
(NPC) Joe – Does something important, but no one is sure what.
(NPC) Ensign Ricky – The guy who is obviously going to die first.
(NPC) Bubber – Custodial Officer and Cook.
(NPC) MR51N-D2 - Obligatory Robot.
(NPC) Autopilot - Obvious.
(NPC) Ambassador Kyle Medea of the planet Nostril. (Temporary passenger)

Rules:
Format your post like this:
Alice: I love lamp.
Bob: No you don’t.
Alice: Yes I do. *Whacks Bob*

If you’re going to post dialogue which is not in character put a // in front of it. If you’re using a NPC put a (NPC) before their name. Don’t godmode (make yourself so inordinately powerful that nothing can affect you etc... if you do you’re just compensating for something anyway.) Don’t talk for other members of the community (unless they give you permission). Try not to make everything you do outrageously dramatic, witty banter is appreciated more. Remember actions are in ** tags like the example above.
If you want to join in just making an introductory post, no chainsaw massacres, be your character, develop their personality. Try not to speak 1n 1337. Use NPC’s freely. If someone posts while you were writing, edit your post to make sense. Keep it short-ish. Don’t get angry if people mock you in character, get back at them in character yourself!
Feel free to poke fun at sci-fi, the internet, and other members as you go on.

Also, and this just made me vomit, HAVE FUN! XD

I will also attempt to answer any comments, questions, etc you may have here:

Q: But Bloo, roleplaying is hideously uncool and any female of the species will immediately be repelled to you for doing it! Why should I post in this thread with you sad people?
A: Thank you for wonderful question! The answer is simple, we go on a website, talk about games, tell horrible jokes, link random pictures of LOLcats or Rick Astley performing “Never gonna give you up”. Why is posting satirical paragraphs which are essentially just a form of communal storytelling suddenly a dividing line between what is allowed and not allowed?

Q: Because I say so and because you’re doing an activity which I don’t agree with!
A: That never stopped me from doing your mum night after night!

Q: I posted a message expressing my view on not liking the forum roleplay and you continue to edit it to me spouting about my homosexuality/ small penis/ lack of personal hygiene, why?
A: Because deleting takes a lot more effort than editing.

Q: I want to play! I’m an alien!
A: I always thought you were.

Q: With four testicles!
A: Great!

Q: And I’m fifty foot tall!
A: Obviously be at least somewhat normal, fifty foot aliens with four balls are a great way to spice things up, but usually when they rape someone.

Q: I’m no good at this kind of thing, I don’t understand, what should I do?
A: Think of yourself as a character in a story, act like you would if you were that character. Read the rules for a general format on how to post, and some general etiquette. This is more to have fun than to make an epic sci-fi experience. So you know, tell crewman Vicious that the accept button is the big blue button that says “Accept” or crack jokes at your fellows mum. Basically, just parody ATK and don’t give a shit.

Q: Someone just did something funny IRL, can I comment on it in the thread?
A: Yes! Try and make it make sense in the context of the ship, or not. Or talk about your cat maybe.

// So I'll start it off.

*The USS ATK has been tasked with taking Ambassador Kyle Medea to the Interstellar Council meeting on Uranus, a trip that will take several days and many misadventures*
*Bloo arrives to the bridge to see that no one else has woken up yet, the whole place is empty.*
Bloo: Great, woke up a hour early again, now what do I do...
*spies the Captains seat and sits on it, beginning to play with buttons like a small child* I AM CAPTAIN BLOO AND IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER! Weeee!