Now, as I was sitting down in my castle, eating a traditional roast peasant with sage stuffing, I heard a rather loud commotion outside the window. I went over to it to see what all the matter was about, expecting to see the peasants revolting again, but instead I saw a huge crowd of Frenchies camping there, loudly jeering us in a French accent.

Before you know it an Acme Siege Supplies van pulled up outside and disgorged a huge siege tower and some ladders.

'Sign here guv'.

So, some dastardly Frogs had decided to take over my bloody castle! Well, being the red-blooded Englishman that I was. the only thing that would have been more shamful was to lose to the bloody Huns. I looked in the pantry, seeing whether there was anything I could use to defend myself with, but all I saw was a plate of cheese and some baguettes.

This gave me an idea.

Everyone knows bloody Frogs like their cheese sandwiches. I made the greatest cheese baguette roll ever, and tossed it in the middle of the mob of stinking Frenchies. Long story short, they all killed each other trying to get the baguette and the winnder died of food poisoning.