I was brooding silently in my dark gothic style castle, stroking my chin as the crows circled in a cyclone shape over my towers. Then wiping a fleck of blood from my chops I called Igor to fetch the Waterboard and Nurnberg wheel. We tortured wannabe emos into the night, with all the things they'd stupidly been writing on their "MyFace" pages, the gothic castle and vampire costume of course not being my usual abode or attire. At the end, they left as zoned out normal people. Some of the radical emos traced us back to our bureau in Slough where most of the paper work was done by Doris the secretary. After brutally subjecting her to FallOutBoy and MCR, the wannabe emos forced the information out of her battered mind and converged on our rented castle.
Well, we kicked ass essentially and they were already demoralised by the exciting rendition of "If you are happy and you know it, clap your hands", as they were coming over the walls. After discussing their feelings about their parents non-divorce and the fact that their life sucks, even though they live in Berkshire, they discovered the good news from the happy end of a 4X4 Baguette with a hard piece of cheese (which was like a nail in it). Well, at least they could go home with one more piercing... Because they were not self harming, and eyeballs, spirits and bones were being broken, not wrists or hearts, they ran away to their computers, and took photos of themselves in the mirror to show their wounds to the Police.The Police who didnt really give a flying fuck about Windows XP or mirrors,and due to the stereotypes of emos, thought they were doing this for attention, and knew that emos self harm and shit... Well Igor and I have had to move premises due to fears of revolt (We have a peasant town of wannabe emos down below the castle hill as well as the scum from elsewhere). But now our business is going strong, like Kris' cheeses and chav pregnation runs rife among the experiments.
Bookmarks