Guys you're doing this all wrong

It needs to be serious. I can imagine it now:

We start off with a scene of a guy under heavy fire hiding behind an obstacle (ie a spy getting shot at by a few heavies and soldiers). He pulls out his secret watch and escapes off.

Then we cut to a scene of two people making out. I suggest we use Oric and Hutch to voice act them.

Meanwhile we can see our spy as a faint outline creeping away from the heavy fire. We resume with a flashback to his youth, when he saw his entire family brutally murdered by fat russians with chainguns.

We then cut back to the make-out couple. Let's get some proper smooching noises as well.

We see the spy creep around the squad that were shooting at him. We see him pick a disguise and decloak. Cut to a scene of him in a helicopter jumping out to infiltrate enemy lines (hydro would be a good map). One of the helicopter pilots has a Mexican accent.

Cut bake to the make-out couple.

We then see the protaganist creep up to the baddies, and just as he is about to backstab them all, the guys making out stop and shoot him.

Brilliant idea isn't it?