Spoil a wish..

[Marshy]

The point of this game is to wish for something that sounds really cool. Easy enough, right?

It gets more complicated for the next poster, however; your job is to logically tell the person before you why their wish would be stupid. So, for Instance:

Wish: I wish i had my own jet plane!

Response: Granted, you could have your own jet, but it would be piloted by a drug addict, and you would crash into a mountain.

Then, you must make another wish. The cycle goes on.

Enjoy, and I'll start it off.

I wish I was a world of warcraft GM :D

[Chazlene]

Granted, but everyone would think GM stood for genetically-modified.

I wish I had my own recording studio.

[Marshy]

Granted, but you would end up earning £1k a year playing at Butlins.

I wish i had superpowers.

[VoX]

Granted, but you'd break so many beds having sex with your girlfriend.

I wish everyday was Christmas.

[Marshy]

Granted, but you would soon be broke.

I wish i had my own cinema!

[spawnofebil]

Granted, but all it would show was endless repeats of Pokeman movies.

I wish for a dish full of fish

[Hutch]

Granted, but the smell would make you vomit.

I wish for an aids free world.

[Marshy]

Granted, but when you have sex you would think will i get aids oh, no i wont forget a condom have sex and have a kid. The worst part is that you only did becasue you were drunk.

I wish i had every xbox 360 game EVER :cool:

[Hutch]

Granted, except the only discs that worked were the Gay porn games, all others were scratched.

I wish for a meeting with Rammstein.

[spawnofebil]

They spray burning custard all over you with a penis.

I desire to acquire a drier.

[ez64]

to acquire this DRYER you must first survive a 1 hour spin cycle.

edit> wish's for star trek TNG season 8

[Bloo]

If it happened, John Luke Picard would hand over command of the Enterprise to some other bright spark no one has ever heard about, rather like what happened with Jack and Cameron in Stargate.

I wish I could be the despotic autocrat of a small African country.

[Friend of Wander]

If it happened, John Luke Picard would hand over command of the Enterprise to some other bright spark no one has ever heard about, rather like what happened with Jack and Cameron in Stargate.

I wish I could be the despotic autocrat of a small African country.

Granted, but you would have the UN on to you more often than the post office strikes.


I wish I could have a cube made of Skips...

[FaTaL]

Granted, but then i would eat one skip, and oric the rest.

i wish that i could have more wish's

[Isphera]

Why have more wishes when this is a cycle and posts are unlimited

I wish people here would stop the food jokes.

[Chazlene]

Granted, but wait until you see the pictures in the advent calender. :P

I wish had endless supplies of sushi.

[Squizzel]

granted, but now all the fish are extinct and everyone has to eat their goldfish

I wish I was a ninja

[Chazlene]

Granted, but you would be locked in eternal combat with a pirate.

I wish I had my own harrier jump jet.

[Isphera]

Granted, but technology ages, and the new VTOL jets will own it.

I wish that American Football was a national sport.

[ez64]

Denied just plain Denied, puff boys rugby. ^&^

I wish, I wish I hadnt killed that fish.

[FaTaL]

Granted, it comes back and eats you whole

i wish that oric would stop eating all the skips

[Hutch]

Granted, but you become so fat off of eating the skips uneaten by Oric that people think you are a whale and the japanese kill you!

I wish for world peace.

[VoX]

Granted, Mars is now no longer at conflict.

I wish for no more American hillbilly patriots.

[Isphera]

Granted, but without them, were would the New England Patriots come from?

I wish for FaTaL and Hutch to stop being dicks.

[Hutch]

granted, to save you the trauma we never were, but now we are so nice and sweet, you got diabetes just from looking at us.

I wish for lots of fireworks.

[Marshy]

granted, but you would be the star of the next 'Why we dont play with fireworks' ad

I wish that i died now.

[FaTaL]

granted, but then i call a monk up and he rez's you

i wish that Oric lost some wight

[ez64]

I certainly dont know what "wight" is but granted.

I wish I had ATK TF2 server admin rights.

[Bloo]

Granted, but then you'd play TF2 four 48 hours straight and die after you shit out all your innards.

I wish all fat people would turn into Mister Blobby or Barney the Dinosaur and dance in a field.

[Squizzel]

granted, but now you can't get across the field any more without being squashed and are trapped in your house

I wish France was invaded by chile and the French forced to make toy llamas, muahahaha

[Hutch]

Granted, but you have to join the french in their toy making as you were there on holiday when they invaded and the chileans don't really give a fuck about nationality.

I wish to own the visible half of the moon to spite the french

[Bloo]

Granted, but then you'd find it wasn't made of cheese and cry.

I wish Scotland would vanish off the face of the planet.

[Hutch]

Granted, but where who would be in parliament and where would all the money go to that they jewgrab off us?

I wish for a gimp mask.

[Squizzel]

granted.....you are now wearing a gimpmask

I wish to escape my French enslavement

[ez64]

granted, but only to be rescued by le resistance of south park and to die a painful kenny like death.

I wish I didnt have such a huge penis........

[Hutch]

Granted, except now you are a girl (no penis at all!!) but have already gone through the menopause as your man hood has stopped *pause for laughter*.

I wish for a hanging. I want to see someone hang.

[Marshy]

Granted, but you dont have any parents now.

I wish i owned playboy mannor

[Isphera]

Granted, but your balls would dry up within 2 years.

I wish the US just nuked all these war places to be done with it.

[Marshy]

Granted but peace protesters would go on a rampage killing every american american football team ever for there violance.

I wish that i have the best computor ever.

[FaTaL]

Granted, but then it explodes because it cant take your gash games

I wish that i was a man, bear, pig.

[ez64]

Granted only to be sucked via the stargate and to live in the bad side of imagination land for all eternity which is about 2.5 minutes.

I wish snk would have some skills so he could backup his false claim of ownage on someone elses forum.

[Bloo]

Granted, but then sNk owns, and that'd be bad eh?

I wish Oricalcos and Hutchypoo were the same person, Hutchalcos!

[Chazlene]

Granted, but Hutchalcos would then hate himself, and you wouldn't him in a bad mood with their combined mass.

I wish I had breasts so I could fondle them all day long.

[FaTaL]

Granted. but then you would fondle them for a non-stop week and they would burst.

i wish that my wish would not be spoiled.

[Squizzel]

*climbs out of his grave with half-rotted flesh* necromancer did a rotten job of that....

granted, but you wished for something absolutely terrible and are pinned to the wall by 6,000 paperclips in painful places

I wish for a cheese toastie

[Chazlene]

Granted, but the cheese has a tumor growing on it!

I wish for a flanger for my guitar.

[Hutch]

Granted,you get the flanger for your guitar, but as you are opening its box your little brothers break up your guitar stuff, Peter the strings on your electric guitar, Joe the amp and the youngest one barfs inside the acoustic guitar.

I wish for another TF2 server.

[spawnofebil]

It's boxkiller 24/7.

I want a plant full of ants (it doesn't rhyme this time :()

[Isphera]

Granted, but the box would break and the ants will eat you alive

I wish for everyone else to get World in Conflict.

[spawnofebil]

They download haxxed copies for free while you had to pay for it.

I hunger for a younger plunger.

[FaTaL]

granted, but you are then Michal Jackson's brother.

I wish that i was a female

[Shampooeshanti]

Granted. you already where one

i wish for peace and normal well being.

[Chazlene]

Granted, but then western civilization wouldn't be able to get any oil.

I wish that Bloo wanted to make a Neverwinter Nights 2 mod rather than a Neverwinter Nights 1 mod (hint).

[Bloo]

Granted, but he does it by himself and makes it singleplayer.

I wish FaTaL was female as well.

[Hutch]

Granted, but the stench of fish becomes too apparent.

I wish for free ice cream.

[spawnofebil]

You eat so much you get fat(ter)

I yearn to learn to burn.

[Squizzel]

granted, but you drop the match on your penis

I wish my MTW2 CD worked

[Isphera]

Granted, but then you wouldnt play NWN any more, which means I cant mock you for it (This is meant as a joke and are no harsh feeling meant towards Squizzel)

I wish I was a woman. (Jumping on the bandwagon.)

[ez64]

oops wrong thread Ignore, sorry

[Chazlene]

Granted, but then you'd be on the bandwagon and would piss off me for being unoriginal.

I wish that right now I wasn't sitting at a desk on a crappy mac laptop with Squizzel next to me.

[Squizzel]

granted, you fall off your chair and I stamp on your face cause I know you dun' want to sit next to me

I wish to be pished

.....and NWN is a good game :(

[Bloo]

Granted, but then you throw up all your innards and die.

I wish to jump on the bandwagon because i've always wanted to be a cowboy. Yeeeeeeeha!

[Shampooeshanti]

Granted, the bandwagon burns and you shrivel up and die

I wish for the first world war hero's to still be alive and fight in the middle east.

[Isphera]

Granted, but then Neo-Nazi's would keep hitler alive.

I wish that Hutch can't be pissed off by anything.

[spawnofebil]

Then all your insults have no effect.

I thirst to be submersed head first.

[Hutch]

Ok, but we leave you rather too long and you drown.

I wish an entirely edible world. Where metal is candy, and animals chocolate.

[Chazlene]

Granted, but you're a complete arsehole for saying 'candy'.

I wish that I didn't have to spend every Tuesday evening drawing old naked people.

[Squizzel]

granted, now you get to be painted instead

I wish I had a garden gnome

[Bloo]

Granted, but it smacked you in the face for telling it to turn into a "Shiny Earth Elemental"

I wish Oric was my gimp, so I could whip him with a chain and force him into tight black leather, ooooh yeah - shake it big boy!

(... This is not meant to be serious in any way, honest, except for the last sentence, and this sentence, oh hells and the first one- ahh crap, i'm rambling..)

[Shampooeshanti]

Granted, but Oric fights back and strangles you with the whip

I wish for a pie

[Squizzel]

granted, but it's made of fishtails

I pray for death with every breath.....

[Bloo]

Granted, but as before, someone pings the monk to res you.

I wish that to rhyme, would be a crime.

[Shampooeshanti]

Granted, but then you would be raped by rhyme police

i wish that no one was jewish

[Isphera]

Granted, but then the financial world would be in jeopardy.

I wish Warcraft was real

[spawnofebil]

You sad git.

Fuck rhymes, I want bitches and hoes man!

[Marshy]

You sad git.

Fuck rhymes, I want bitches and hoes man!

What..?!?

Ok forget that one

Granted, but then you would be a gnome and have the record for worlds smallest penis.

I wish that someone would delete spawnofebils post

[Shampooeshanti]

Not granted, because i can't do that.

I wish that i was a ferret.

[Marshy]

Ahhh jesus no one gets it you could have said Granted, but unfortuanly i dont have that power or something!

ok on topic

Granted, but you would stink

[Squizzel]

you didn't make a wish

[Bloo]

Granted, but isn't that a good thing?

I wish real life was real.

[Marshy]

you didn't make a wish

We never speak of this again

Granted, But then the grafixorz!!11! would be bad

I wish that i had the school tuck shop to myself :)

[Shampooeshanti]

Granted, but you would be bullied into suicide

i wish that i owned America

[Hutch]

In Soviet Russia, America owns you!

I wish that I owned a real life pikachu.

[Bloo]

Granted, but then everyone would comment on how both of you have red cheeks.

I wish I wish I wish, for a pink and white fish.

[Isphera]

purple beats pink.

I wish that I could be in the school talent show tonight

[spawnofebil]

What talents?

I wish I could find m copy of Silver.

[Shampooeshanti]

Granted, but then you lose it again.

I wish for a porky pig that goes woo woo.

[FaTaL]

Granted, but you just have to look in the mirror.

i wish a a ice cube that never melts.

[spawnofebil]

You freeze to death.

I ache to bake a cake.

[Chazlene]

Granted, but the cake is a lie.

I wish I had Medieval 2: Total War Kingdoms.

[Isphera]

Granted, but then you would be a M2TW Whore, like im a WoW Whore.

I wish Devin Hester played for the vikings.

(Watch the below video, there are two TD's, so skip to halfway after the first.)

M-DYYtGPff0&NR

[Hutch]

Fine, but he would get killed in battle with a stray axe, wasting all of his talent (Is there any?)

I wish that WoW failed and lost all of its subscribers and servers and it couldnt be ressurected as it broke everyone's game.

[Squizzel]

granted, but then they'd all play good games, and we don't want them on our games

I wish I lived in Finnland

[spawnofebil]

Granted, your balls freeze off and you get confused trying to learn the language.

I wish Oric stops posting retarded videos about things no-one cares about.

[Bloo]

Granted, just plain f**king granted damnit.

I wish the entire world was a black and white detective movie - with me as the detective of course.

[Squizzel]

granted, but for epicness they end the series with your death

I wish for a cuppa

[Bloo]

Granted, but the dimwit who made it used coffee not tea.

I wish I didn't just make a wish.

[spawnofebil]

THE WORLD IMPLODES.

I wish for colourless green dreams to sleep furiously.

[Squizzel]

granted, but you probably have to be high to even know what that looks like, let alone see it

I wish I could think of a wish....

[Shampooeshanti]

Granted, but you die of aids trying.

I wish for a PS3/wii/xbox360 all in one.

[Bloo]

Granted, but it's as easy to develop games on as the PS3, overheats and breaks as much as the Xbox 360, and is as crap for shooters and drivers as the Wii.

[Bloo]

I wish I didn't forget to make a wish by the way... eek...

[Hutch]

Granted, but we still beat the shit out of you.

I wish that my PC could actually run MSN stably.

[Isphera]

Granted, but then you would plague the world via spam.

I wish Cobra Starship toured to the Oxford Zodiac.

[VoX]

Granted, but they get bottled off.

I wish that my band learned Don't Let The Bells End in time for the last assembly of the year before Christmas.

[Bloo]

Granted, but you'd get bottled off.

I wish Duke Nukem Forever would cancel or come out already, it's just getting silly.

[Hutch]

Granted, but it comes out and has 2d sprites

(In reference to Orics post, its now Carling Academy Oxford, not Zodiac)

I wish for poverty in Birmingham.

[Isphera]

Granted, it's already there

(In reference to Hutch's post, theres two parts now - The Carling Academy, and the Zodiac - Get your facts right)

I wish WoW was a national sport.

[Squizzel]

g...gg.....g...grant....ed! ARGH!!! but you never make the team

I wish I was less bored

[spawnofebil]

MAY YOUR LIFE BE FILLED WITH INTERESTING TIMES!

I wish I made the GB shooting squad.

[Hutch]

Granted, but it bankrupts you travelling all the time, and all the saturday school missed makes sure that you only get Cs in your AS and A levels!

I wish to not be afraid of dogs.

[Bloo]

Granted, but now you're allergic to them.

I wish John Morgan (See Abingdon School) became the pope. (I'm hoping great things Chazlene, make it happen).

[spawnofebil]

Granted, he starts persecuting everyone who doesn't know the periodic table off by heart.

I wish people played pokemon ONLINE with me.

[Hutch]

Granted, but they are imaginary.

I wish that Oric would dress up as Blastoise or Snorlax.

[spawnofebil]

He doesn't need to, for Snorlax.

I wish your head asplode.

[Isphera]

Granted, but we would all be covered in Tomato Seeds.

I wish everyone that plays pokemon now would play Madden

[spawnofebil]

I'm the only one who plays pokemon.

I wish I was as long as longcat.

[Bloo]

Granted, but then you keep falling over all the time.

I wish all military ranks be renamed to names for sexual organs, personally, I think all generals should be called Nobs.

[Squizzel]

granted, but soon our army becomes a huge mob of green-skinned thugs with axes >.>

I wish for more music to listen to

[Hutch]

Granted, you are now a fan of Rammstein

I wish Breaking Benjamin broke up, and that they also tore up Benjamin with their teeth.

[Bloo]

Granted, but ten years down the line, they get back together and top the charts with their hit song "Taste of Benjamin"

I wish that there was more ice cream in the world.

[Hutch]

Fine but the only flavour is "A Taste of Benjamin" and its red and browny with a hint of yellow water.

I wish for 60 cubic feet of cheese.

[Darkeagle]

Granted but it appears on top of you

I wish for a pet monkey

[spawnofebil]

Granted, it's called Benjamin.

I wish for your mum.

[Darkeagle]

Granted

I wish for a pet mexcain

[Bloo]

Granted, but he does your wife when your at work and she runs off with him with all your cash.

I wish for of all of us to sing Christmas Carols but singing the 'funny' versions!

[spawnofebil]

Granted, no-one laughs.

I wish I could walk into Mordor.

[Hutch]

Granted, but we misspelled Mordor, so you walk into murder, otherwise known as an alley in Didcot famous for muggings.

I wish D&D didn't exist.

[Bloo]

Granted, but then computer games as we know it will not have progressed, and it's not just "no RPG's" but no games beyond pong and perhaps peggle. Gods, someone really needs to read his PC Gamers closer...

I wish someone melded Stalin and Hitler's brains and put them in a giant ape.

[Chazlene]

Granted, but that's so obvious it's a stupid idea you complete retard, I mean, it'd be like World War 2 again crossed between planet of the apes, what the hell were you thinking?! Jesus Christ...

I wish for another roadkill to eat at the weekend, yum...

[spawnofebil]

Granted, it's maggoty and a week old.

I wish that I didn't need to revise of tests.

[VoX]

Granted

I wish for a pet mexcain

Thats my joke!!!!!

Sorry for the interruption.

[Hutch]

Granted but the Mexican shoots you Gringo.

I wish that Vox spoke fluent Vietnamese.

[VoX]

Ban nhưng bây giờ bạn không thể đọc thông báo này.

I wish that we had a government who understood the "little people."

[Bloo]

Granted, but the new PM is a midgit and passes a law that all doors should be four foot tall on punishment of death.

I wish that the Green Party was made up of aliens instead of vegetarians.

[Friend of Wander]

Granted, but they are vegetarian aliens.


I wish for a new computer.

[spawnofebil]

Granted, it's even older than your mum.

You know a bit of old mouldy cheese? I wish that's what you are.

[Bloo]

Granted, but then your only friend is a bit of old mouldy cheese, and thats sad.

Thats it, i've had enough! I wish we had another bandwagon to jump on, that was fun.

[Friend of Wander]

Granted. The Bandwagon contains a kareoke machine.



I wish that I was dead.

[Chazlene]

Yes, you wish that you were dead, but you're alive again now.

I wish that I didn't have such terrible wind right at this moment.

[Squizzel]

granted, but you fart so hard it hurts

I wish madmen in rags would beat everyone to death with half-eaten spare ribs

[spawnofebil]

Granted, the madmen are vegetarian (same thing really) and eventually join PeTA.

I wish I could play my pieces for my Grade 8 piano perfectly and get 150/150.

[Isphera]

Grade 8 Piano is for noobs. But Granted.

I wish I could use part of my brain as a computer.

[Darkeagle]

Granted you get a virus after looking at porn

I wish for a cheese and onion crisp JUST 1

[Hutch]

Granted, but its small and ends up in crumbs in the post.

I wish that the Ancient Greeks did have cars.

[Shampooeshanti]

Granted, but Greeks get frustrated and drive of a cliff

i wish for mail order bride, lol.

[Chazlene]

Granted, but she turns out to be an inflatable doll full of explosive gas.

I wish that I could finish making the ATK advent calender before Christmas.

[Isphera]

Granted, but she turns out to be an inflatable doll full of explosive gas.
Nice reference to Only Fools and Horses :D

Granted, but then this community would have actually got something done (This is not a serious statement and meant as a joke.)

I wish I had an epic flying mount.

[spawnofebil]

Granted, you whore yourself out for it and get AIDS.

I wish I could play every single instrument in the world ever, just so I can say bass sux0rs.

[Hutch]

Granted, but your head explodes with all this knowledge added on to your already fat brain.

I wish I had a dog that could detect cancer in people.

[spawnofebil]

He sniffs you a lot.

I wish I could do a Rubik's cube in under a second.

[Isphera]

Thats just sad.

I wish I had a job that meant I could pillar people with no talent and get paid for it.

[spawnofebil]

Granted, you get turned into a stone pillar.

I wish I could be as awesome as Oric, since he is clearly the most unsad person here and is awesome in every way.

[Darkeagle]

Granted you are now as awsome as oric

I wish That Foo fighters, the wombats and the cribs came to my house and played for me at chrismas

[Chazlene]

Granted, but your house is too small to fit them in.

I wish that I could complete Neverwinter Nights 2 because it crashes every time I start the final epic battle.

[Friend of Wander]

Granted, but you sit there thinking..."that was a waste of a wish".




I wish I had X-Ray vision.

[spawnofebil]

Granted, you get eye cancer.

I wish that I can speak French fluently so that I dont get a D again in my French oral.

[Hutch]

Granted, but now you smell, are cowardly and sound like effluent is coming out of your mouth, oh and in addition England hates you.

I wish that I could travel back in time and kill the person who invented Tennis, ITS REALLY BORING TO WATCH, especially when it used to overrun the simpsons when it was on BBC 2!!!!

[Bloo]

Granted, but the person who invented Tennis was a distant relative of yours, and thus by killing him, you cease to exist.

I wish for my explodinations, kaboooom!

[Hutch]

Granted, but by exploding, that means you are dead i'm afraid, and its rather painful due to incomplete combustion and the fact that bits of you blow up seperately.

I wish that all people with BO would be shot on sniff.

[Isphera]

Shame, means we lose you.

I wish the Vikings game was on TV tonight.

[Darkeagle]

Granted it replaces the news on which a broadcast is announced to stay in homes becuase a deadly gas passing over england. No one gets this message and they all die.

i wish For A new electric guitar A gibson A new gibson. That costs alot of money

[Isphera]

PRS's are better.

I wish that Hutch would cheer up and be happy.

[VoX]

Granted, the world as we know it ceases to exist.

I wish for all illegal immigrants to go back to their homeland and be shot. Dead.

[Hutch]

Granted, shame your mum is a philipino whore then.

I wish that Oric lost his virginity to a sock puppet.

[Isphera]

Denied, Id rip the sock puppet at just the sight of my penis.

I wish Hutch would let me headbutt him more.

[Friend of Wander]

Granted. Hutch headbutts through into your stomach, down into your penis and impregnates the woman you also happened to be sleeping with at the time.


I wish for a nicer skin for this forum.

[Snerfs]

Granted, but the new skin would turn into a black hole and suck you in... shame... lol

I wish Hutch would be friendlier...

[Hutch]

granted, he always is friendly

I wish that Sandstorm would actually listen to my advice and stfu.

[Bloo]

Granted, but then he also headbutts everyone all the time as well.

I wish that Hutch and Oric would stop bickering and just have a fight to the death to determine who's 'better'.

[Chazlene]

Granted, but one of them would win.

I wish all of our chickens weren't completely useless and actually laid summat.

[Isphera]

Granted, they would lay up a three pointer in a chicken basketball game.

I wish hutch would stop giving crap advice and GTFO.

[spawnofebil]

FFS stop bickering. You're like a pair of old ladies.

I wish everyone sat down in front of a campfire and sang kum-bi-yah.

[Bloo]

Granted, but it sounds awful because none of us can sing and are even worse at singing in time.

I wish the ATK bomb symbol looked less like a pervert. :p (don't hurt me Chazlene!)

[Snerfs]

Granted, but charlie goes balistic and bans you from forums :p

I wish that ATK would start up a clan of its own, but like ATK = Aim To Kamp or summat, hehe

[Bloo]

Granted, but that suggestion killed this thread, so minus ten points to you.

I wish a giant frogman would hug Chazlene, it'd make me laugh.

[Chazlene]

Granted, but Frogmen don't exist Bloo, had to break it to you, sorry.

I wish I could play Empire: Total War RIGHT NOW.

[spawnofebil]

Granted, you fail all your A-levels because you're too busy playing it.

I wish I ad decent headphones.

[Bloo]

Granted, but then your computer blows up leaving you with nothing to plug them into.

I wish Red Bull actually gave you wings.

[Hutch]

Granted, but they are big flappy bingo wings.

I wish that God didnt exist so I wouldnt have to go to church.

[Isphera]

Granted, he doesnt.

I wish Christmas happened everyday.

[Bloo]

Granted, but you eat too many mince pie's everyday now, and eventually explode from excessive mince pie eatage.

I wish the real world had background music in it like game worlds do - it'd be a useful distraction during school.

[Paper Tiger]

edited...Sorry

[Marshy]

granted, but you did it yourself alredy

I wish that little kid haddent got in my way so i wont have broken legs over christmas :(

[Isphera]

Granted, but the little kid would go push someone else into a road and kill them.

I wish I could be made of choclate.

[VoX]

Granted, you eat yourself over Xmas and then the rest of you melts over summer.

I wish for Christmas to be sooner.

[Darkeagle]

Granted the result would be some kinda time vortex and would suck up all the pandas

I wish for everytime people went to buy pepsie max the fall thotough the floor like on the adverts

[Hutch]

Granted, but cola contains carcinogens and everyone gets cancer and dies, everyone knows Diet Coke is the better one anyway.

I wish for a new watch. I feel naked without one

[Chazlene]

Granted, but it won't fit around your chubby wrist.

I wish I could actually think of a wish and not just sit here doing nothing when I should be getting on with the advent calender.

[Isphera]

Granted, but then this thread wouldn't exist and I would be doing economics work.

I wish there was a machine to do all of my homework.

[Bloo]

Granted, but it chucks out constant C-grade work, wait on second thoughts, thats an improvement. :p (jokes jokes...)

I wish insult sword-fighting was a national sport, engarde, touche! Oh that is -so- cliche....

[Squizzel]

granted, but you lose as soon as you make a your mum joke

I wish I was a buddhist monk

[VoX]

Granted, your now as fat as Buddha.

I wish that I had a wish to make.

[Hutch]

Fine but its such a good wish that you wish you had thought of it.

I wish you could buy diet coke by the barrel in a shop.

[FaTaL]

Granted, but your go as fat as budha

I wish for a new DECENT mouse witch isn't shite.

[Isphera]

Granted, but it would soon break, and turn shite.

I wish I could have a Musicman Bass.

[Hutch]

Granted, but all the strings break and snap into your eyes blinding you.

I wish for a room full of 1 p coins, above an empty room so that I can leave someone in the empty room and allow 1p coins to slowly trickle into the room until it fills it completly.

FAtal, diet coke cant make you fat as it has only 1 calorie per 500ml.

[Squizzel]

granted.....but it's your entire fortune and you can only ever pay for things in 1p coins, after you've waited ages for enough to trickle through to the room below

I wish I could think of christmas presents for people

[Hutch]

Granted, but unfortunately they are all out of an ann summers catalogue... and you gave it to everyone....and they all insist on using it straight away to make you feel better, oh and did I forget, its YOUR family as well.

I wish for an aids free christmas.

[Bloo]

Granted, but now you can't shag anyone ever again you AIDS-ridden fiend.

I wish I had my own personal penguin butler called Larry.

[Squizzel]

granted, but you end up living on fish for the rest of your life as that is the only thing he ever serves

hmmmm, watching a drunken llama fighting a penguin would be interesting.....

[Hutch]

Fine, but afterwards its very messy, seeing as the penguin would be bleeding everywhere and the camel would be throwing up its guts everywhere after being forcefed fish.

I wish that WoW wasnt such a bitch to reinstall from fresh.

[VoX]

Granted, WoW no longer exists.

I wish that I had a decent PC.

[Squizzel]

granted, but the mouse and keyboard aren't, so it is rendered unusable

I wish I had a trench coat

[Isphera]

Denied, we all know it is I that wears trench coats.

I wish I could play EVE as well as WoW

[VoX]

Granted you filthy hacker.

I wish I was the best CSS player ever.

[Isphera]

Granted, stop surfing.

I wish I was God. (That is if he exists - personal opinion aside)

[VoX]

Granted, your now the cause of all wars.

I wish our CSS servers were popular.

[Darkeagle]

Granted they are always full and therefor you can never get on.

I wish my team fortress worked propley

[VoX]

Granted, but you will forever be the worst at it.

I wish for a sheep to give to Chazlene for Christmas.

[Chazlene]

Granted, but I already have 2,500.

I wish Chalex didn't go to bed stupidly early so I could send him the new advent calender pictures I've made...

[Isphera]

Granted, but then he would turn into a molestation monster. (This comment is meant is a joke, and is in no way meant to insult or get me banned)

I wish for a map made of just glass cubes and a massive pit.

[Hutch]

Granted, but unfortunately for you, this map is made in real life, and while inspecting it, you walk across, while doing so, you notice the shoddy workmanship of the glass. A foreman yells "Oric, your mums on the phone for you" and chucks a cordless phone towards you, he is a weakling and it doesnt go very far, but it cracks all the glass and you can see fractures. These fractures are growing towards you, you try to run. You stop running as you have put your foot in through the glass. A whole side of the glassfloor breaks off and falls into the abyss. You look down at your leg which is lacerated and gushing blood everywhere. While banging on the glass with your fists in anger (rather stupidly I might add), you break the surrounding bit keeping you aloft and plunge down into the now glass filled casam, which is full of shards of glass. All I can say is, maybe next time, don't hire Bloo as your foreman.

I wish that I had stress relief candles, I don't know why, but who knows eh?

[Bloo]

Granted, but they're made by Bloo and filled with deadly toxins, you die while working off your stress. Maybe next time you shouldn't make fun of Bloo's (obviously) amazing craftsmanship. :p

I wish I had a Discombobulator, they sound fun, whatever the hell they do.

[Hutch]

Granted, but you lose all your limbs after the first time ( its a tad broken) and cant push the buttons to make it work again when someone you really want to discombobulate walks in which makes you upset and confused.... Meaning, you cut your arms off and are left with a really large heap of scrap metal, good job, good job.... Emo, at least the machine worked on you though.

I wish that chores were somehow made fun.

[Bloo]

Granted, but now everything else is boring in comparison, you become a workaholic and die scrubbing toilets, kind of fitting considering it's where you belong. Some thought the death was suspicious as you were lying face down in the toilet when it was filled with shit, with the scrubber rammed through your heart, but either way, when someone came in and saw you dead in the toilet, they immediately commented on your shoddy work.

I wish that Hutch wouldn't make the next spoil the wish post because this will almost certainly end up as a rant/flame thread, and really, i'd rather actually hurt him than make hollow threats.

[spawnofebil]

Granted, lewd pictures of him are pasted all over school walls.

I wish our TF2 server was more popular so I could actually play on it.

[Marshy]

You walked right into this, granted but then there would be no room for you

i wish i oculd get 100% on through the fire and the flames

[Hutch]

Granted, but now you have arthritis and you cant play the song on a real guitar!

I wish for a room full of human blood and organs, just for the sake of having one.

[spawnofebil]

Granted, the police come and lock you away.

In Soviet Russia, things wish YOU.

[Isphera]

Granted, but the USA beats the USSR.

Thus my wish is to own america.

[Hutch]

Fine, but you are now the hatred of the west of the world and have attracted jihad on your now stupid american head.
Congratulations.

I wish for the cheque to clear so I can buy my new PC.

[Isphera]

Granted, but they find that its fake and arrest you for forgery.

I wish that I never needed sleep and never evenr feel tired.

[Chazlene]

Granted, but you'd end up bored shitless after a while, or die from spending every night playing WoW for 10 hours straight.

I wish there were Celebrations' packets which only contained Maltesers, Galaxy and Truffle.

[Squizzel]

granted, the others go bankrupt and exact bloody revenge upon your kidneys

I wish for crates of beer

and oric.....you wear the wrong type of trenchcoat :P

[spawnofebil]

Granted, it tastes of piss.

I wish for gigantic dongs to rain from the sky and knock everyone unconscious.

[Isphera]

Granted, but they penetrate you in every orifice you have and you die of the shock discovery that you love the dick.

I wish for no political correctness and for it to bring back Baa Baa Black Sheep, and no homo Rainbow Sheep.

[Hutch]

Granted, but everyone starts railing on fat people again

I wish that I was pro at cutting gingerbread.

[Squizzel]

granted, but it takes you years of training during which you lose 3 fingers, half a toe and your nose....and you're still stuck in a factory making biscuits

I wish to take up the electric bass.....guitar for retards, yeah!

eventually political correctness will come full circle and everything will be run by black women

[Hutch]

Granted, but now you go to a special needs school. And everyone bullies you. YOU RIDE THE SHORT BUS.

I wish that there was an uncensored version of Charlie and the chocolate factory, the one where you see Willy Wonka trying to lure children into his kingdom for sweet sweet "chocolate".... but without innuendo. I want this as I cant think of a christmas present for Chalex.

[Isphera]

Granted, but then we would never see chalex on TS (Not that there is a difference).

I wish for Christmas.

Oh, and before I go...

I wish to take up the electric bass.....guitar for retards, yeah!
Bad move, we have several bassists in the community, myself included.

[Squizzel]

'twas a joke.....especially since I might well start playing......making me a retard too

and christmas is granted, duh! of course there's gonna be christmas

I wish everyone was a metalhead so they'd play decent music on the radio

[VoX]

Me and Oric are teh awesomeness bassists lol. Daemon plays guitar and bass too don't he?

Anyway granted and I can't spoil that wish, it's just to special.

I wish that my bass' wasn't broken :(.

[Hutch]

Granted, but to get it mended you do things no boy at such a tender young age should do, you regret those things all your life, until however, you meet Mike, your life partner.

I wish that phones could run around like mice on the floor :)

[Isphera]

Granted, but it would run away from you faster than a phone on Hide and Seek CS.

I wish that VoX's bass was fixed.

[Darkeagle]

Granted But Vox Comes to your house and thanks you TOO much

I wish That I was The best team fortress 2 player

[Squizzel]

granted, but everyone plays something else

I wish for broccoli soup

[Chazlene]

Granted, but it's pronounced broccol-EEE not broccol-EYE!

I wish I didn't copy Bloo and get amused by something shiny.

[Hutch]

Granted, But the Magpie king kills you for your treachery,

I wish that the cyst would just disappear ( I need a hot water bottle).

[Squizzel]

granted, but your hot water bottle bursts and scalds you

I wish the holiday work would just disappear....

[Chazlene]

Granted, but then you become STOOPID from not learning.

I wish that there was a shop in Wantage that actually sells Call of Duty 4.

[Hutch]

Granted but it sells only Call of Duty 4 on the PS3

I wish my PC would arrive BEFORE I go back to school.

[Squizzel]

granted, it arrives 5 minutes before the bus leaves on Teusday

I wish I could play lights and sounds fast enough

[Chazlene]

Granted, but all of your fingers fall off.

I wish I didn't just have my muffin amputated (my hair).

[spawnofebil]

Granted, it eventually turns into a cupcake.

I wish there was a decent game out that's not COD4

[Squizzel]

granted.....but none of us can work out the controls

I wish for a sausage.....

[Hutch]

Granted, but read the suggestion thread, and you'll never want to see it, let alone eat it.

I wish for an internet connection which didnt keep timing out.

[Mark FX]

Granted, but it only runs at 0.1mbps and 0.05mbps when it's bad weather.

I wish for a reply to this post.

[Vicious Horizon]

Granted, but it takes up too much Bandwidth

I wish for 100 fans for my laptop.

[Chazlene]

Granted, but they spend all of their time outside of your house waving signs reading 'I luv u laptop!' and demanding to see it.
(P.S. Vicious Horizon, where abouts in Oxfordshire are you from? Since a lot of us here are from Oxfordshire.)

I wish that it would snow this Winter.